The Holy Gift Shop

Certified Noob Tee

$30

White tee featuring the official seal of a Member in Good Standing. Tells the world you've been carried, you've paid, and you've made peace with it. Also serves as a fair warning to future teammates.

Sizes S–2XL. Pick yours at checkout.

Made to order. Allow 1–2 weeks for your blessing to arrive.

• Mailed: $6
• Local pickup: free (a pilgrimage to Thunder)
• Hand-delivered by Thunder: $1,000

🛒 Buy Now

Checkout is handled securely by Stripe. Refunds, shipping and the rest are in the Fine Print.